Old Man Winter,
Bad news: You've grown old.
Your cold and gray skies springing a sneak attack and pushing out the last ray of sunshine on an otherwise pleasant day are so tiresome. They don't even surprise me anymore.
Your weekly dusting of snow on the mountaintops is no longer beautiful, nor easy on the eyes. It's just annoying and quite frankly, a bit rude.
The rain mixed with sleet mixed with snow is so last year.
Sub-zero temperatures for the better part of 6 months?!? Puh-leeze. Surely you can do better than that.
And the torrential winds that precede your storms are soooo played out. Can't you come up with a new gig?
Maybe you need to take some time for yourself. Just pack up, think through some things, regroup, formulate a new plan of attack, and come back better than ever...say next winter.
xoxo,
J
P.S. More Bad News: I heard that Spring is on it's way. We all know how tempermental she is, what with her April showers and May flowers. She is not to be toyed with. I'd hurry on up and get outta here if I were you.
8 comments:
Funny! :)
Great letter - I wish I had a smidgen of your creativity.
ditto!
I love bad news letters! I'm feeling about the same way, but I can feel spring peeking through. I bet we only have a couple weeks left.
I guess it's not plagiarism since it's not verbatim, but it's pretty obvious you stole your idea from here:
http://www.macleans.ca/columnists/article.jsp?content=20080312_96248_96248&id=2
i love this letter! i made me laugh out loud.
Couldn't agree more.
Dear Anonymous,
BAD NEWS: Nobody likes you and Jamie's letter is waaaaay better than that other one. Plus I have a feeling you are probably a close friend or relation (if not the author) of the letter you referenced.... Are you a little jealous that Jamie's letter kicked that letter's BUTT? It's pretty obvious that you are.
NOT ANONYMOUSLY, but quite sincerely,
Olivia
Post a Comment