Friday, October 26, 2007

Pet Rat

Heartsick. My week, in a word. Much of it has been spent with a dear friend experiencing an untimely and tragic loss. It's so hard to stand by. Feeling helpless. All you can do is hope. And pray. That each day gets a little easier. That somehow they find peace and comfort. And send flowers and food.

One clever friend from California sent over a care package chock full of goodies. Then decided to include a random gummy rat. As a group of friends sat around rifling through its contents, it gave us a good chuckle. The brave ones among us even decided to taste it. They claim it just tastes like gummy candy (obviously, I'm a whimp), though for some reason I was certain it would taste like the NYC subway system. Go figure. When the pet rat was gone, the paper underneath the package had some "Fun Facts" written on it. Now, I've seen enough rats in NYC to make your head spin. Almost stepped on more than I'd care to talk about. I didn't like them then, but I reallyreallyreally don't like them now. Remember, the paper says the facts are fun. You be the judge. Here they are:

  • A rat can last longer without water than a camel.

  • Even very large rats can fit through very tiny spaces. How tiny? Well, let's put it this way -- if you have a hole the size of a nickel in your wall, you could one day see a rat squeezing throught it. Rats don't have bones. They're made up of cartilage, which is flexible.

  • Rats can hold their breath for three minutes and tread water for three days.

  • Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over a million descendants.

Thoughts? I'll tell you mine. This little snippet did not make me think rats were fun. Nor did it even make me think they were tolerable. Yuck-yuck-double yuckity-mc-yuckerson.

9 comments:

Author said...

EW! Just thinking about how many rats are probably living in this city and how many more are born every day makes me want to barf. I HATE RATS. and pigeons. and squirrels.

kami @ nobiggie.net said...

That is so grody.

laura said...

This is hilarious! And yes, it tasted just like a gummy worm but it was a little creepy taking a bite of the head. ha ha!

Lane said...

Why did you have to tell me this? There are probably more rats than people in NYC. Does anyone have some pre-contraban DDT??

btw, you should read Joseph Mitchell's "The Rats on the Waterfront" story, which details how rats have actually almost taken over NYC several times over the centuries.

Muranda said...

I am going to go ahead and agree with you on the nasty. That is just wrong.

ali said...

Yuckity McYuckerson! I can't believe Laura dared to bite in. She is bold and brave ... and beautiful.

Jori said...

I've read the statistic for rats in NYC is 9 rats per 1 person. I just saw a big ugly roof rat in my back yard. Vegas has tons of them. I called the city sure a public health emergency would be declared, they simply said "Put some poison out ma'am." That's it?? I was hoping there were be a police escorted brigade dispatched to rid my fair street of these dreadful creatures. SO I called the pest guy he brought out a big rat box and let's hope it does it's job. Ew! They can fit through a hole the size of a nickel? That just gave me the chills.

brittany said...

Sick, sick, sick! I have a friend who had a pet rat. She carried it around with her in her bag sometimes.

Anonymous said...

ho told you rat's don't have bones?? Be careful what you say,that is not true